Revelations

I went for a dinner cum gathering with some secondary school friends last night. After almost 5 years of not attending such gatherings (due to always being in some AIESEC conference or other :P), the elusive Jessica finally appears!

As I expected, I spent most of the night staying quiet :p.

I have never been part of this gang of "happening" people in school. Yesterday's dinner showed that time has not changed that and I still find myself having a hard time talking freely in front of everyone, preferring to have one-to-one conversations with my best friend Ah Ching (the person who convinced me to go), and Bao Shu, who was once my "Tuesday Night Dinner Date" back when I was in UTM :) . He went to Philippines during the holis and both of us were eager to share stories of our travels since I went to Egypt a few weeks ago.

Still, all is not lost. The night's gathering brings me two revelations about myself.

One, I am better and more comfortable when talking on a one-to-one basis. After dinner we were deciding what to do next and I had a chance to talk to Ming Fung, a classmate that I have never been particularly close to, but our conversation flowed easily as I asked him about his studies in Melbourne. Our conversation was cut short as we separated to different cars for our next destination (Karaoke, but I didn't sing much:P), but still, it was easy for me to find something to talk about when it was just between me and him.

Two, on the way home, cruising through the familiar streets of my hometown, I suddenly realized something. From as young as I can remember, I have always been aware that there is an outside world apart from Miri. Young as I was back then, and eager at the prospect of growing up and having a job, house, family of my own etc, I don't think my imagination of my future was ever restricted to within Miri only - to be born, live and die here. I was always, always aware that there are other places and destinations, just waiting to be discovered by me out there.

For some unknown reason, I find that heartening.

Perhaps, I am destined for bigger things after all :).