Of Proms and Farewells...

Movies and TV shows always shows the Prom or Farewell Party as a magical night in a girl's life...a night one looks forward to, a night she will never forget all her life...

So why am I just simply refusing to go to my Farewell Prom?

Not for lack of persuading and cajoling I tell you..these few days my coursemates and housemates have been doing nothing but bugging me about joining my course's Farewell Party...

"Last year already mah...when will we ever have the chance of being together again?"

ANd yet..I don't know, I just don't feel like going :P.ANd it might seem cold-hearted of me, but I just don't feel touched or guilty by the"last year already" excuse. I just don't feel it is a strong enough justification for me to attend the farewell prom...

I don't know, maybe it is just a feeling of Farewell Proms (based on previous experiences)never really gives me the magical feeling of love and warmth that it supposedly should give (since it is a gathering of all your friends together and such..)

Instead I always kind of feel left out and alone, like I don't really belong :P

Of course I have never been famous of my close relations with my coursemates, in some ways I guess I can be considered one of them loners, never belonging to any particular cliques,spending more time with other friends than my coursemates...which is why I feel somewhat awkward among them sometimes I guess...

And I feel, like I just don't buy the whole "last year mah" thing...We have so many times and years before this together, why do we have to wait for a Farewell Prom to realize how much we love each other and build and strengthen relations between us? I don't know I guess that just doesn't work for me you know?I don't need a prom to let people know how special they are to me...I have every day to do that,if only I want to..

My coursemates think it's the money (too expensive) or the clothes (nothing to wear) which are common heard excuses from other people who are not going...but it is not that, it is so not that...Gosh I know more than anyone a lot of things don't really matter, as long as you have the heart and will to do it, you will always figure out some way of getting what you want:P but it's just that...I know that if go,my heart won't be there at the farewell itself...it just won't be there...

Another thing I don't like about Farewell Proms is the unspoken Beauty pageant thing:P Of course everyone compliments each other saying you're so beautiful and all that, and I am sure most people mean it, but still everyone is still wishing and thinking they are the most beautiful one or someting you know? And this kind of feeling hangs particularly thick in the air when like me, you come from a faculty that is 80% girls, so the farewell proms will alwaysbe full of swishing dresses and grand hairdos that are subtly trying to outdo each other :P...

Maybe everything just seems a bit too fake and unreal for me sometimes...sigh...