Searching for a Temporary Permanence...

Searching for a Temporary Permanence...

That is my MSN nickname that roused the interest of Pegasus:p....temporary permanence? Quite an oxymoron no?

It's actually a pretty simple concept...temporary permanence as in going into a new phase of your life that will have routines and its own norms...but deep down you KNOW that THAT life wont be the life that you live forever...

Ok so maybe its doesnt sound so simple after all :P

As I wrote in my "Lost" blog, joining Brandstorm made me realize that despite wanting to go out and see the world and taste the earth as it is, deep down inside I still like having a routine, a "home life" that I can go back to for alway... Initially I figured I would find my temporary permanence after Brandstorm is over, but I guess not...:P

Simply because we won:p. We REALLY DID and in like 2 weeks time I would actually be going to Paris!!! PAris for crying out loud!!! :P ANyone who knows me knows what a romantic fool I am and Paris has always been high on my "Dream Places To Go" list ( I always figured they would just be, literally, dream places:P...)

*GAsp!!!* It's still a bit unbelievable for me...and I don't think that the fact will really sink in until I get to KLIA and board the plane....after that I will probably need Woonie & Kok Hin and Mag (the L'Oreal HRAM who will accompany us there) to calm me down in the plane because who knows what kind of jumpy antics I will resort to in that kind of excitement :P...

Anyways going back to temporary permanence...I am in the midst of finding a new place to stay in Taman Universiti...currently staying with my sis but actually has rented a room in Pulai...which is so so far away from Taman Universiti civilization for someone without transport like me :( Prospects of getting a new place seems bright, and I am just hoping that I can get my life in order ASAP when I get back to Taman Universiti from Europe...

Getting life back in order for me involves getting a proper job (which I find scary as a fresh graduate), and just settling into my new life...and when I am settled enough and has earned some income, then I'll focus on doing the next important must do thing in my life...get myself matched for an AIESEC traineeship :) (The income serves the purpose of funding my traineeship ticket, if not fully at least partially:P)

That's the whole reason I am searching for a temporary permanence. I suppose I can very well get a proper job and settle down in Miri City (the city status was just announced on 20th May, I am so proud of my birthplace! :D) with my family where everything is comfortable, or I can go to KL and headstart my career there where pretty much everything is happening...but if I want to do any of those options, I know I will be doing it for the long term, and right now I still can't let go of the idea of a traineeship...I need to throw myself out there before I get tied down, if not I think I'll look back and have "What If..." questions lingering in my head, and I cant live with that...

A lot of people tell me "Don't think about job yet, enjoy Europe first! Once in a lifetime girl!", which is very very true, but perpetual worrier that I am , I can't shake off the "I can't get a job" phobia that I have :P Maybe it's because the last time I searched for some sort of a "job", which was my practical, it didnt really work out that well and I was only able to get my placement weeks before my final exams...that was seriously scary, and quite a blow to one's self esteem really, the idea that no one wants to employ you, and I am just afraid it will happen a second time...sigh...

Worrying, this worrying trait of mine is...:P

My 2 BFs (one BoyFriend, another Best Friend :P), despite not knowing each other, both echo the same thoughts when talking to me -
"Don't think so much-lah you...." :P

I wish i had more of their simplicity when it comes to facing life....